Avoid over-commitment: Say “No” with grace

by Michelle St. Onge

According to a wise old saying, the reward for good work is more work. It goes something like this: you take on a volunteer or professional task and do it well, and people take notice. Then when the next project comes around in need of a take-charge-get-things-done leader, your name will probably come up around the table.

It is a flattering ego-boost to be tagged as a go-to person, especially for an important project or event. People love to be helpful. Most of us have a tendency to pile more and more on our plates, perhaps in denial of our own limitations.  Flattery, the desire to be helpful, and the fear of discovering limits are all effective blinders that can lead us to over-commitment.

Taking on more at work
When a new project request comes from your boss, take special notice and try to be accommodating. Review your current duties and the time they take to complete, and be realistic about what you can adjust in order to add more to your workload. Be forewarned, though, the game has changed since lay-offs and unemployment rates have started to climb.

Everyone is doing more, with less, at work in light of the current economy.  Everyone. So what if you have a contract that says your job consists of completing X,Y, and Z and then you get so many 15-minute breaks and time off for this and that. For every employee hiding behind a contract and ducking additional responsibilities at work, there are probably 10 eager job-seekers more than willing to accept those terms.  Going above and beyond is a good way to ensure job security.

Outside the 9-to-5
One of the most outward expressions of our personality is our formal and informal affiliations with groups. Religious, civic, hobby, professional, and volunteer groups all exist to help us connect with other like-minded people.  Often these groups are non-profit and rely on volunteers to keep them running.  We all take turns wearing one of these hats at one time or another- Residence Association leader, cricket coach, Sunday school teacher, board member, charity event organizer, to name a few.

For the sake of our community, it is important that each one of us volunteer to the best of our ability. If you haven’t added volunteering to your routine yet, please reach out and give your time and support to a group whose goals you admire. But on the other end of the spectrum are the frequent-flyer volunteers who just can’t seem to say no when someone asks for help.

The Art of “No”
Even the strongest resolve to stop taking on more commitments means nothing until the moment it is tested, face-to-face. When you are confronted with a new commitment, it is important to take time to weigh the decision. Regardless of the intensity of the role, ask for a few days to consider before you decide. If you are able to decline instantly because you are over-committed, say so.

When you are ready to respond, start with an offer of thanks for the opportunity to help. If you were flattered, say so. Many of us end up saying yes because we don’t want to disappoint someone or hurt their feelings. Sidestep this guilt by complimenting the person who asked you. Express your admiration for their commitment to the cause, or better yet, refer them to another lead for the role you can’t fill.

If you choose to decline, craft a clear and concise statement ahead of time, and avoid making excuses. Practice with a trusted friend if you need to, making sure your message gets across. If you are able to offer your services in a less demanding role, end with this as a positive note.