How do you want to be remembered?

About a hundred years ago, a man looked at the morning newspaper and to his surprise and horror, read his name in the obituary column. The news papers had reported the death of the wrong person by mistake. His first response was shock. Am I here or there?

When he regained his composure, his second thought was to find out what people had said about him. The obituary read, "Dynamite King Dies." And also "He was the merchant of death." This man was the inventor of dynamite and when he read the words "merchant of death," he asked himself a question, "Is this how I am going to be remembered?" 

He got in touch with his feelings and decided that this was not the way he wanted to be remembered. From that day on, he started working toward peace. His name was Alfred Nobel and he is remembered today by the great Nobel Prize.

Just as Alfred Nobel got in touch with his feelings and redefined his values, we should step back and do the same.

What is your legacy?

How would you like to be remembered?

Will you be spoken well of?

Will you be remembered with love and respect?

Will you be missed?

Buidling Trust with your boss

Trust is the basic foundation factor when you are building a company. Trust is the binding cement of any relationship, including a  business. Good leadership is very important; but nothing really works if there is no trust.

How Do You Build Trust With Your Boss?

Do not lie about anything – while a white lie is forgivable here and there; you should never lie about serious matters.  It is always better to own up to a mistake than cover up for it; for no matter how much you try, the lie will be exposed sooner than later and when this happens, your boss will never trust you again; neither will your co-workers.

Be loyal to your company – if you are a valuable employee, you will definitely attract invitations to join other companies; other companies may approach you to find out about things in your company. If you feel you need to leave to promote your career, by all means do so. But good leadership skills demand that you never bad mouth your company or your boss in this process. These types of things get around and you will be branded as an untrustworthy person.

Be dependable – your boss should be able to depend on you for any given task. He should be able to count on you to bring any given task to its logical end. Dependability is one of the key good leadership skills that you need to develop.

Ability to admit mistakes – you should be able to admit your failures. Your boss will appreciate, respect and definitely trust you if he knows that you are a person who owns up when he commits a blunder. Good leadership skills demands that you honest.

Are completely transparent in your work dealings –be completely transparent in your work dealings with team members, those you manage, customers and superiors. Transparency and a willingness to share information is seen as a positive attribute that enhances the feeling of trust at work place.

Are accountable – when you take a task, you take full responsibility for its success or failure. You do not skirt the issues, blame obstacles or quote problems; neither will you pass on the buck. Good leadership skills means you know what your duty is, and you never play down your responsibility.

Show respect – good leadership skills will have you show respect not only to your superiors, but also your team members and those you manage. Showing respect to all – and not only to those from whom you expect something – indicates strength of character and earns everyone’s trust and respect.

Developing self-discipline

 - Mahanthi Bukkapaptnam

Self-discipline can be considered a type of selective training, creating new habits of thought, action, and speech toward improving yourself and reaching goals.

Self-discipline can also be task oriented and selective. View self-discipline as positive effort, rather than one of denial.

Schedule a small task for a given time of the day;Practice deliberate delaying.

    Schedule a particular task in the morning and once in the evening.
    The task should not take more than 15 minutes.
    Wait for the exact scheduled time.
    When the schedule time is due, start the task.
    Stick to the schedule for at least two months.

Advantages: Scheduling helps you focus on your priorities.By focusing on starting tasks rather than completing them, you can avoid procrastination.

    Schedule a task and hold to its time;
    Avoid acting on impulse.
    Track your progress;
    At the end of the allotted time, keep a record of accomplishment that builds over time.

Advantage: Building a record will help you track how much time tasks take.

If you begin to have surplus time, fill it with small tasks, make notes to yourself, plan other tasks, etc.

Harness the power of routine.Instead of devoting a lot of hours one day, and none the other and then a few on an another day and so on, allocate a specific time period each day of the week for that task. Hold firm.Don't set a goal other than time allocation,simply set the habit of routine. Apply this technique to your homework or your projects, you will be on your way to getting things done

Advantage: You are working on tasks in small increments, not all at once. You first develop a habit, then the habit does the job for you.

Use self discipline to explore time management. Time management can become an overwhelming task.When you do not have control over your own self, how can you control time? Begin with task-oriented self-discipline and build from there.

Advantage: As you control tasks, you build self-discipline.

As you build self-discipline, you build time management. As you build time management, you build self-confidence.

Maintain a self-discipline log book. Record the start and end times of the tasks. Review for feedback on your progress

Advantage: This log book can be a valuable tool to get a better picture over your activities in order to prioritize activities, and realize what is important and not important on how you spend your time.

Schedule your work day and studies.When you first begin your work day, or going to work take a few minutes and write down on a piece of paper the tasks that you want to accomplish for that day.Prioritize the list.Immediately start working on the most important one.Try it for a few days to see if the habit works for you.Habits form over time: how much time depends on you and the habit.

Advantage: When you have a clear idea as to what you want to achieve for the day at its start, the chances are very high that you will be able to proactively accomplish the tasks. Writing or sketching out the day helps.

Discouragement:Do not be intimidated; do not be put off by the challenge. If you slip, remember this is natural. Take a break and then refresh the challenge

Tricks: Associate a new habit with an old one: If you drink coffee, make that first cup the time to write out and prioritize your tasks.

Advantage: Association facilitates neural connections!

Mark your progress: On a calendar in your bathroom, on a spreadsheet at your computer, on your breakfast table: Check off days you successfully follow up. If you break the routine, start over!

Advantage: Visualizing is a ready reinforcement of progress

Role models: Observe the people in your life and see to what extent self discipline and habits help them accomplish goals. Ask them for advice on what works, what does not.

Sharpen Your Skills

                                                                                                                                              Leo Babauta

You may think you’re pretty good at what you do. And you may be right.

But you’re not the best you can be, by a long shot. None of us are, and we might never be. It’s important for your career as a freelancer and for you personally to take what skills you have and improve them, continually, and add new skills.

Why is it important? Professionally, it will take you to the top of your game, and keep you there. It will get you better assignments and clients, better rates, a better reputation. Sharpening your skills can bring nothing but good things for your freelance career.

Personally, improvement is important. Not because you aren’t valuable and worthy and a good person already. You are. But because improvement keeps you alive, keeps you challenged and interested and passionate for what you do. Once you have no further challenges in your work, things become static and boring and tedious. But if you continually look to improve what you do, there’s never a dull moment.

So how do you continually improve your skills? Here are some suggestions:

Set aside time for learning. Whether it’s 30 minutes a day, or an hour a week, it’s important that you set aside a regular block of time to learn about your profession. That might be reading magazines or blogs or books or trade journals, that might be paying attention to the work of others, that might be taking a class, or just working on your skills on your own. Whatever you do, be sure to schedule it, and don’t miss that appointment.

Pay attention. Let’s face it: many of us have been doing what we do for so long that we do much of it without much thought. It’s second nature. But that just allows you to do what you’re doing without change, without improvement. Instead, pay closer attention to what you do, to your skills. Just that act, of paying attention, can make a big difference, because it will make you focus on those skills more, and see what you could be doing better.

Fine tune. Once you start paying attention, see how you can improve. Look closely at each skill you have, each thing you do, and see what can be made better. Things can almost always be made better. Work on each skill, practicing it until you’re perfect, trying new things, getting creative.

Get inspired. It can be hard to motivate yourself to improve, especially when what you’re already doing works for you. But if you look at the work of others, especially others at the top of your field, or past masters, it can be enough to inspire you. Find ways to get inspired by the amazing works of others every day, and you’ll never stop improving.

Learn from the masters. Study closely the work of the masters, read about them, read things they’ve written about your craft. If possible, learn from them directly, by studying under them or working with them. They got where they are today by studying from the masters that came before them.

Get critiqued. Sometimes we can’t see what we’re doing wrong, because we’re biased, too close to the work. So you need to get an outside eye to take a look at it. Ask someone you respect for a critique of your work. Ask them to be honest, and specific. And when they give you that critique, don’t be offended or hurt or angry. You want honesty. Take whatever they said that’s critical and make it a way for you to improve yourself. Make a list of their points and see how you can get better at those points.

Take a class. If there’s a class available for your skills, and it’s taught by someone better than you, it’s worth taking. Sure, you can probably get the same information from books or magazines or the Internet, but there’s nothing like a class for learning, because it forces you to take the time to sit and digest the information, and you can often get personal interactions with the teacher so that you can understand the material even better. And if you turn in work to the teacher, you’ll get a critique from an expert!

Work with those who are good. Instead of taking a class or getting a critique from someone who is at the top of your field, work with them. Collaborate, get on their team, work at their company, or do a joint project. There’s nothing that teaches you better than doing, and working with those who know what they’re doing. Pay close attention to everything that they do, ask questions.

If things get boring, look to improve. Once things get static in your work, you will begin to get bored. That’s because you’ve stopped being challenged, and stopped improving. Instead of looking for something else to do, see this boredom as a sign that you need to improve yourself, and set new challenges for yourself. Take a new look at what you do, and see what new goals you can set for yourself that will challenge you to do better.

Why Your Employees Are Losing Motivation

Business literature is packed with advice about worker motivation—but sometimes managers are the problem, not the inspiration. Here are some practices to fire up the troops. (From Harvard Management Update - by David Sirota , Louis A. Mischkind , and Michael Irwin Meltzer)

Most companies have it all wrong. They don't have to motivate their employees. They have to stop de-motivating them.

The great majority of employees are quite enthusiastic when they start a new job. But in about 85 percent of companies, our research finds, employees' morale sharply declines after their first six months—and continues to deteriorate for years afterward. That finding is based on surveys of about 1.2 million employees at 52 primarily Fortune 1000 companies from 2001 through 2004, conducted by Sirota Survey Intelligence (Purchase, New York ).

The fault lies squarely at the feet of management—both the policies and procedures companies employ in managing their workforces and in the relationships that individual managers establish with their direct reports.

Three key goals of people at work to maintain the enthusiasm employees bring to their jobs initially, management must understand the three sets of goals that the great majority of workers seek from their work—and then satisfy those goals:
* Equity: To be respected and to be treated fairly in areas such as pay, benefits, and job security.
* Achievement: To be proud of one's job, accomplishments, and employer.
* Camaraderie: To have good, productive relationships with fellow employees.

To maintain an enthusiastic workforce, management must meet all three goals. Indeed, employees who work for companies where just one of these factors is missing are three times less enthusiastic than workers at companies where all elements are present.

One goal cannot be substituted for another. Improved recognition cannot replace better pay, money cannot substitute for taking pride in a job well done, and pride alone will not pay the mortgage.

What individual managers can do?

Satisfying the three goals depends both on organizational policies and on the everyday practices of individual managers. If the company has a solid approach to talent management, a bad manager can undermine it in his unit. On the flip side, smart and empathetic managers can overcome a great deal of corporate mismanagement while creating enthusiasm and commitment within their units. While individual managers can't control all leadership decisions, they can still have a profound influence on employee motivation.

The most important thing is to provide employees with a sense of security, one in which they do not fear that their jobs will be in jeopardy if their performance is not perfect and one in which layoffs are considered an extreme last resort, not just another option for dealing with hard times.

But security is just the beginning. When handled properly, each of the following practices will play a key role in supporting your employees' goals for achievement, equity, and camaraderie, and will enable them to retain the enthusiasm they brought to their roles in the first place.

Instill an inspiring purpose. A critical condition for employee enthusiasm is a clear, credible, and inspiring organizational purpose: in effect, a "reason for being" that translates for workers into a "reason for being there" that goes above and beyond money.

Every manager should be able to expressly state a strong purpose for his unit. What follows is one purpose statement we especially admire. It was developed by a threeperson benefits group in a midsize firm.

Benefits are about people. It's not whether you have the forms filled in or whether the checks are written. It's whether the people are cared for when they're sick, helped when they're in trouble.

This statement is particularly impressive because it was composed in a small company devoid of high-powered executive attention and professional wordsmiths. It was created in the type of department normally known for its fixation on bureaucratic rules and procedures. It is a statement truly from the heart, with the focus in the right place: on the ends—people—rather than the means—completing forms.

Stating a mission is a powerful tool. But equally important is the manager's ability to explain and communicate to subordinates the reason behind the mission. Can the manager of stockroom workers do better than telling her staff that their mission is to keep the room stocked? Can he communicate the importance of the job, the people who are relying on the stockroom being properly maintained, both inside and outside the company? The importance for even goods that might be considered prosaic to be where they need to be when they need to be there? That manager will go a long way toward providing a sense of purpose.

Provide recognition. Managers should be certain that all employee contributions, both large and small, are recognized. The motto of many managers seems to be, "Why would I need to thank someone for doing something he's paid to do?" Workers repeatedly tell us, and with great feeling, how much they appreciate a compliment. They also report how distressed they are when managers don't take the time to thank them for a job well done, yet are quick to criticize them for making mistakes.

Receiving recognition for achievements is one of the most fundamental human needs.

Rather than making employees complacent, recognition reinforces their accomplishments, helping ensure there will be more of them.

A pat on the back, simply saying "good going," a dinner for two, a note about their good work to senior executives, some schedule flexibility, a paid day off, or even a flower on a desk with a thank-you note are a few of the hundreds of ways managers can show their appreciation for good work. It works wonders if this is sincere, sensitively done, and undergirded by fair and competitive pay—and not considered a substitute for it.

Be an expediter for your employees. Incorporating a command-and- control style is a sure-fire path to de-motivation. Instead, redefine your primary role as serving as your employees' expediter: It is your job to facilitate getting their jobs done. Your reports are, in this sense, your "customers." Your role as an expediter involves a range of activities, including serving as a linchpin to other business units and managerial levels to represent their best interests and ensure your people get what they need to succeed.

How do you know, beyond what's obvious, what is most important to your employees for getting their jobs done? Ask them! "Lunch and schmooze" sessions with employees are particularly helpful for doing this. And if, for whatever reason, you can't immediately address a particular need or request, be open about it and then let your workers know how you're progressing at resolving their problems. This is a great way to build trust.

Coach your employees for improvement. A major reason so many managers do not assist subordinates in improving their performance is, simply, that they don't know how to do this without irritating or discouraging them. A few basic principles will improve this substantially.

First and foremost, employees whose overall performance is satisfactory should be made aware of that. It is easier for employees to accept, and welcome, feedback for improvement if they know management is basically pleased with what they do and is helping them do it even better.

Space limitations prevent a full treatment of the subject of giving meaningful feedback, of which recognition is a central part, but these key points should be the basis of any feedback plan: Performance feedback is not the same as an annual appraisal. Give actual performance feedback as close in time to the occurrence as possible. Use the formal annual appraisal to summarize the year, not surprise the worker with past wrongs.

Recognize that workers want to know when they have done poorly. Don't succumb to the fear of giving appropriate criticism; your workers need to know when they are not performing well. At the same time, don't forget to give positive feedback. It is, after all, your goal to create a team that warrants praise.

Comments concerning desired improvements should be specific, factual, unemotional, and directed at performance rather than at employees personally. Avoid making overall evaluative remarks (such as, "That work was shoddy") or comments about employees'personalities or motives (such as, "You've been careless"). Instead, provide specific, concrete details about what you feel needs to be improved and how.

Keep the feedback relevant to the employee's role. Don't let your comments wander to anything not directly tied to the tasks at hand.

Listen to employees for their views of problems. Employees' experience and observations often are helpful in determining how performance issues can be best dealt with, including how you can be most helpful.

Remember the reason you're giving feedback—you want to improve performance, not prove your superiority. So keep it real, and focus on what is actually doable without demanding the impossible.

Follow up and reinforce. Praise improvement or engage in course correction—while praising the effort—as quickly as possible.

Don't offer feedback about something you know nothing about. Get someone who knows the situation to look at it.

There are several ways that management unwittingly de-motivates employees and diminishes, if not outright destroys, their enthusiasm.

Many companies treat employees as disposable. At the first sign of business difficulty, employees—who are usually routinely referred to as "our greatest asset"—become expendable.

Employees generally receive inadequate recognition and reward: About half of the workers in our surveys report receiving little or no credit, and almost two-thirds say management is much more likely to criticize them for poor performance than praise them for good work.

Management inadvertently makes it difficult for employees to do their jobs. Excessive levels of required approvals, endless paperwork, insufficient training, failure to communicate, infrequent delegation of authority, and a lack of a credible vision contribute to employees' frustration.

Power of Positive Talk

- Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam

I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.

I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don't fall!" And Tammy did... fall.

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don't drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.

Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.

The point is made.

If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words "I'll try" come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar.

If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite."

People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary.

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.

These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.

So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, " I'm fat. Nobody will like me. I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc. etc."

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words. Notice when you or other people use them.
- But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
- Try: Presupposes failure.
- If: Presupposes that you may not.
- Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.
- Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.
- Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)
- Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.
- Can't/Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want.

This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.

Examples:
Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: "Catch the ball!"

Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"

Exercise: Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.

Fears are there to be conquered

-Marion Licchiello

Is fear holding you back? How do you feel when you are not able to accomplish something because you are afraid?

Have you heard the saying that F-E-A-R is 'False Evidence Appearing Real' or 'Fantasized Evidence Appearing Real'?

Perhaps you were somewhere that you wanted to get up and speak but the palpitations were so bad you couldn't. Maybe you want to be a singer but can't get up in front of an audience. Are you ready to be Next Top Model but fear is holding you back?

Now, I want you to think about when you conquered a fear. Think about that time when you said "I'm going to do this anyway" and you did. Do you remember that feeling of pure freedom, of exhilaration, or joy? I do!

I would like to share with you a little bit I know about "Fear". I am going to fill you in on why I feel the above statement is 100% true.

Think about this for a moment. If you close your eyes and imagine you're standing on the edge of a tall building - really put yourself there - you will actually begin to sway; most people can feel the fear of falling while doing this demonstration. You are not actually on the building but your mind and body make a connection to that fear.

Another example is if you have ever gone to a 3-D movie you were most likely startled when something projected towards you and you jumped. I have experienced this feeling. It's called fear. We know it's not real, but we have the reaction and feeling as if it is. Our fears can hold us back from doing many things that we can and want to do most in life.

Think about spiders or bees. How do you react when you see one of these insects? We know that bees can sting and some spiders are poisonous but should we be paranoid about these insects?

I have a fear of spiders. I remember a time I made myself paralyzed with fear over a shadow in the corner of my living room. In my mind it became a huge spider and I could not move to get rid of it. The fear I felt was so strong until I realized it was just a shadow. I could not believe how I made myself become unable to move over something I could quickly overcome.

Some people also allow bad past experiences to hold them in fear. A personal example of this happened when I was in grade school. I had a teacher become angry with me. I was giving an oral presentation in front of the entire class. When it was my turn for the presentation I sat on the desk. I thought nothing of this because most kids had done it before. However, when I became nervous I started swinging my legs back and forth. I did this during the entire presentation. I was a young child. I did not realize I was doing it.

After I completed my presentation my teacher proceeded to reprimand me in front of everyone. I remember her saying something similar to "Do you realize that you looked like a complete idiot? What is wrong with you?" Needless to say, I never did or even wanted to give another oral presentation for the rest of my years in school. This, in turn, caused me to get grades that were less than what I was capable of getting, because I refused to do speeches or oral presentations.

As I got older, I realized I wanted to improve my personality and build confidence over my fears. I began listening to motivational/self-help books on tape. I would go to uplifting seminars and found I was feeling better and better about myself. This encouraged me to want to reach out and help others in need.

I decided I wanted to be a Motivational Speaker or a Coach. But I had to overcome my speaking fear. I began listening to more books on tape (now they would be called books on CD). The more I listened, the more confident I felt.

After listening to one particular author/speaker many times, I decided to write to him for advice. He had advised in his writings if there was something you wanted to achieve you should be persistent. So I became very persistent.

I wrote to his office many times and they finally called me back. They asked me "What do you want?" I told them I just needed some advice on how to get started with speaking. I explained I had a fear of speaking in public, so how should I proceed to speak in front of audiences? Could they possibly help me? They offered me help by informing me to contact a local Toastmasters and see what they were all about.

For information purposes, Toastmasters is a great organization for people who are interested in improving their speaking skills in preparation and presentation in front of audiences. I certainly needed to do this. I located the nearest Toastmasters and attend a meeting.

At first, I sat in the background and was too overcome by my "fear". I did not even want to introduce myself. But by realizing this was just the 'false evidence appearing real', I faced my fear and within a short period of time I was President of that Toastmasters.

This is not to say I still do not get nervous every once in a while especially in front of large audiences. When I do feel the fear I face the crowd and realize there is nothing to worry about and complete my presentation which gets better with each event. If I kept myself stuck in that f-e-a-r, I would not be able to help people and do what I am doing today nor would I be who I am and always wanted to be.

Fear "False-Evidence-Appearing-Real". It's a realization that fear is nothing more than what you make it. And it is something you can overcome. This is my belief. The first time I heard about F.E.A.R. on my motivational tapes, I felt enlightened and now when I feel a bit nervous or scared I think of how false fear is. This makes me feel better.

I would like you to try a simple exercise - only if you feel ready. Think about a fear that has been holding you back from accomplishing something you truly wanted to do in your life or just had a general fear of. I would like you to do it or face it. Make sure it's sensible and responsible. Definitely do not do something that would be deemed irresponsible or harmful to yourself or others. I am by no means telling you if you are afraid of sharks to go swim with them. Just take the first steps towards getting over a fear.

Here's an example: Someone who is near and dear to me always counted on her son to take her to her nieces home that was about an hour away. Her fear was of getting lost, even though she knew how to get there. Finally when she had no one to drive her, and after many discussions with me and her son, she decided to give it a try. This was one of the scariest things to her. This was a big deal.

I am so very proud of her! She did it! Her comments afterwards were "I feel like I'm free", "It's a feeling of freedom", "I feel great", "I feel as if I can do anything now".

These are wonderful feelings. Isn't it time for you to pick something small to start with? Don't you want to feel that way? For example, if you are afraid of birds, take your first step by visiting a friend with a friendly pet bird. Slowly going over to the cage and talking to it. Visit a few times until you feel comfortable enough to feed it or pet it. Each time will get better.

If you are like me and want to start speaking at meetings but are too overwhelmed with fear, I suggest the following: Locate and contact your local Toastmasters or speaking group and attend a few meetings.

Yet another example, if you like someone and want to ask him or her out but you are afraid of rejection, my advice is to ask him or her. Why hold yourself back? You will never know the true answer unless you ask. I would rather ask and be rejected than to wonder for the rest of my life what could have been.

Just remember you get one step closer to your goals of being a more confident, less fearful person, each time you face your fear.

What are you ready to conquer? Give it thought. What has been holding you back? I believe it may be YOU! Only you can get over or through the fear. Do it!

10 ways to be happy at work

By Susan M. Heathfield

Working at Google sounds very cool. I'd be the first to tout Google as a motivating employer: free food, engineers who are enabled to spend 20 percent of their time on their own projects, and a work environment that fosters play and creative thinking. At Google, Genentech and other Fortune magazine top 100 companies, employers provide the best workplaces.

At the same time, perks that enable employees to spend all of their time at work exploit people and destroy work - life balance. So, even the best employer may not be best for everyone. These are the factors that will help you find happiness at work.

1. Choose to Be Happy at Work
"Smiling man is happy at work." Happiness is largely a choice. I can hear many of you arguing with me, but it's true. You can choose to be happy at work. Sound simple? Yes. But, simplicity is often profoundly difficult to put into action. I wish all of you had the best employer in the world, but, face it, you may not. So, think positively about your work. Dwell on the aspects of your work you like. Avoid negative people and gossip. Find coworkers you like and enjoy and spend your time with them. Your choices at work largely define your experience. You can choose to be happy at work.

2. Do Something You Love Every Single Day
"Man and women working on a solution." You may or may not love your current job and you may or may not believe that you can find something in your current job to love, but you can. Trust me. Take a look at yourself, your skills and interests, and find something that you can enjoy doing every day. If you do something you love every single day, your current job won't seem so bad. Of course, you can always make your current job work or decide that it is time to quit your job.

3. Take Charge of Your Own Professional and Personal Development
"Computer training class."A young employee complained to me recently that she wanted to change jobs because her boss was not doing enough to help her develop professionally. I asked her whom she thought was the person most interested in her development. The answer, of course, was her. You are the person with the most to gain from continuing to develop professionally. Take charge of your own growth; ask for specific and meaningful help from your boss, but march to the music of your personally developed plan and goals. You have the most to gain from growing - and the most to lose, if you stand still.

4. Take Responsibility for Knowing What Is Happening at Work
"Man seeks information through a magnifying glass."People complain to me daily that they don't receive enough communication and information about what is happening with their company, their department's projects, or their coworkers. Passive vessels, they wait for the boss to fill them up with knowledge. And, the knowledge rarely comes. Why? Because the boss is busy doing her job and she doesn't know what you don't know. Seek out the information you need to work effectively. Develop an information network and use it. Assertively request a weekly meeting with your boss and ask questions to learn. You are in charge of the information you receive.

5. Ask for Feedback Frequently
"Positive feedback."Have you made statements such as, "My boss never gives me any feedback, so I never know how I'm doing." Face it, you really know exactly how you're doing. Especially if you feel positively about your performance, you just want to hear him acknowledge you. If you're not positive about your work, think about improving and making a sincere contribution. Then, ask your boss for feedback. Tell him you'd really like to hear his assessment of your work. Talk to your customers, too; if you're serving them well, their feedback is affirming. You are responsible for your own development. Everything else you get is gravy.

6. Make Only Commitments You Can Keep
"Keeping commitments."One of the most serious causes of work stress and unhappiness is failing to keep commitments. Many employees spend more time making excuses for failing to keep a commitment, and worrying about the consequences of not keeping a commitment, than they do performing the tasks promised. Create a system of organization and planning that enables you to assess your ability to complete a requested commitment. Don't volunteer if you don't have time. If your workload is exceeding your available time and energy, make a comprehensive plan to ask the boss for help and resources. Don't wallow in the swamp of unkept promises.

7. Avoid Negativity
"Avoid negativity to be happy at work."Choosing to be happy at work means avoiding negative conversations, gossip, and unhappy people as much as possible. No matter how positively you feel, negative people have a profound impact on your psyche. Don't let the negative Neds and Nellies bring you down. And, keep on singing in the car on your way to work - or start.

8. Practice Professional Courage
"Practice professional courage to be happy." If you are like most people, you don't like conflict. And the reason why is simple. You've never been trained to participate in meaningful conflict, so you likely think of conflict as scary, harmful, and hurtful. Conflict can be all three; done well, conflict can also help you accomplish your work mission and your personal vision. Conflict can help you serve customers and create successful products. Happy people accomplish their purpose for working. Why let a little professional courage keep you from achieving your goals and dreams? Make conflict your friend.

9. Make Friends
"Three smiling coworkers." In their landmark book, First, Break All The Rules: What the World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently (Compare Prices), Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman list twelve important questions. When employees answered these questions positively, their responses were true indicators of whether people were happy and motivated at work. One of these key questions was, "Do you have a best friend at work?" Liking and enjoying your coworkers are hallmarks of a positive, happy work experience. Take time to get to know them. You might actually like and enjoy them. Your network provides support, resources, sharing, and caring.

10. If All Else Fails, Job Searching Will Make You Smile
"Job searching will make you happy at work."If all of these ideas aren't making you happy at work, it's time to reevaluate your employer, your job, or your entire career. You don't want to spend your life doing work you hate in an unfriendly work environment. Most work environments don't change all that much. But unhappy employees tend to grow even more disgruntled. You can secretly smile while you spend all of your non-work time job searching. It will only be a matter of time until you can quit your job - with a big smile.

Two Lists One Should Look at Every Morning

Written by: Peter Bregman

Shared by: Palanivel

I was late for my meeting with the CEO of a technology company and I was emailing him from my iPhone as I walked onto the elevator in his company's office building. I stayed focused on the screen as I rode to the sixth floor. I was still typing with my thumbs when the elevator doors opened and I walked out without looking up. Then I heard a voice behind me, "Wrong floor." I looked back at the man who was holding the door open for me to get back in; it was the CEO, a big smile on his face. He had been in the elevator with me the whole time. "Busted," he said.

The world is moving fast and it's only getting faster. So much technology. So much information. So much to understand, to think about, to react to. So we try to speed up to match the pace of the action around us. We twitter, we facebook, and we link-in. We scan news websites wanting to make sure we stay up to date on the latest updates. And we salivate each time we hear the beep or vibration of a new text message. 

But that's a mistake. The speed with which information hurtles towards us is unavoidable (and it's getting worse). But trying to catch it all is counterproductive. The faster the waves come, the more deliberately we need to navigate. Never before has it been so important to say "No." No, I'm not going to read that article. No, I'm not going to read that email. No, I'm not going to take that phone call. No, I'm not going to sit through that meeting.

It's hard to do because maybe, just maybe, that next piece of information will be the key to our success. But our success actually hinges on the opposite: on our willingness to risk missing some information. Because trying to focus on it all is a risk in itself. We'll exhaust ourselves. We'll get confused, nervous, and irritable. And we'll miss the CEO standing next to us in the elevator.

A study of car accidents by the Virginia Tech Transportation Institute put cameras in cars to see what happens right before an accident. They found that in 80% of crashes the driver was distracted during the three seconds preceding the incident. In other words, they lost focus — dialed their cell phones, changed the station on the radio, took a bite of a sandwich, maybe checked a text — and didn't notice that something changed in the world around them. Then they crashed. 

The world is changing fast and if we don't stay focused on the road ahead, resisting the distractions that, while tempting, are, well, distracting, then we increase the chances of a crash.

Now is a good time to pause, prioritize, and focus. Make two lists:

List 1: Your Focus List (the road ahead)

What are you trying to achieve? What makes you happy? What's important to you? Design your time around those things. Because time is your one limited resource and no matter how hard you try you can't work 25/8.

List 2: Your Ignore List (the distractions)

To succeed in using your time wisely, you have to ask the equally important but often avoided complementary questions: what are you willing not to achieve? What doesn't make you happy? What's not important to you? What gets in the way?

Some people already have the first list. Very few have the second. But given how easily we get distracted and how many distractions we have these days, the second is more important than ever. The leaders who will continue to thrive in the future know the answers to these questions and each time there's a demand on their attention they ask whether it will further their focus or dilute it.

Which means you shouldn't create these lists once and then put them in a drawer. These two lists are your map for each day. Review them each morning, along with your calendar, and ask: what's the plan for today? Where will I spend my time? How will it further my focus? How might I get distracted? Then find the courage to follow through, make choices, and maybe disappoint a few people. 

After the CEO busted me in the elevator, he told me about the meeting he had just come from. It was a gathering of all the finalists, of which he was one, for the title of Entrepreneur of the Year. This was an important meeting for him — as it was for everyone who aspired to the title (the judges were all in attendance) — and before he entered he had made two explicit decisions: 1. To focus on the meeting itself and 2. Not to check his BlackBerry.

What amazed him was that he was the only one not glued to a mobile device. Were all the other CEOs not interested in the title? Were their businesses so dependent on them that they couldn't be away for one hour? Is either of those a smart thing to communicate to the judges?

There was only one thing that was most important in that hour and there was only one CEO whose behavior reflected that importance, who knew where to focus and what to ignore. Whether or not he eventually wins the title, he's already winning the game.

Taking Ownership of Tasks

By Louis Rosas-Guyon

In any organization there are jobs that need to get done. These jobs are usually defined by the table of organization. The sales department handles prospecting, customer service deals with irate customers and so on. However, there are the inevitable situations where jobs are orphaned. These tasks must be handled by someone somewhere but they become a corporate hot potato. And in not time flat, these jobs become the source of frustration and fighting between departments as everyone battles desperately to ensure that they do not get blamed for dropping the ball.

I see this most often during the deployment of new technology systems. No one wants the aggravation or the extra work involved in taking ownership of a new project. Usually this happens because senior management makes a decision to implement something new without assigning responsibility for oversight. So, there I am looking for someone that can answer questions or make decisions that could affect the entire corporation. How am I supposed to know if you prefer FIFO or LIFO?

This is why it is important for companies to always assign someone that is responsible for a project. Incidentally, they must also have the corresponding authority to make decisions for the company! There is nothing that will guarantee frustration and failure faster than forcing someone to shoulder a responsibility without also granting them the authority to see it through. Responsibility without power just slows everyone down because every time a decision must be made, the responsible party runs to find someone else to make the choice.

This is why many IT projects fail. Just like the famous quote says, "victory has a hundred fathers, but defeat is an orphan." It seems that many projects are doomed to failure from the beginning because everyone in a position to make a difference is too busy running from potential failure. When stated in those terms it seems ridiculous, but I have seen it in more situations than I care to remember. I have seen Vice Presidents that rule their departments like feudal lords run for cover when a new project is announced. They hedge and try to work every angle to push the project onto someone else. They claim they are too busy, too poorly funded or too under-staffed. Strangely, these are usually the same executives that will make my life complicated with ridiculous requests and demands. These executives are not taking ownership of the project and are part of the problem.

But what do I mean when I say someone has to take ownership of the project? Always remember that power can not be given or transferred. Power must be seized. If the person given the responsibility and authority never takes ownership of the project, they will never be anything more than a caretaker. They will be afraid to make decisions and will run to their supervisor for answers in a perpetual CYA game. Unless someone takes ownership of the project, the likelihood of success declines drastically.


SOME IMPORTANT GUIDELINES FOR TASK OWNERSHIP

The teams have two very important rules around task ownership. First, regardless of the number of people doing work on a task, each task should only have one person’s name on it. Second, regardless of who is actually doing the work, the task should always belong to an active member of the team.

Only One Owner Per Task

Tasks that belong to more than one person lend themselves to confusion. Each owner thinks the other is on top of it, so the task goes nowhere. Or, one owner says the task is done but the other says it’s not done. Or, the occasional team freeloader wants his name on every task he is remotely associated with, so it looks like he’s doing a lot when he in fact has done very little.

One owner per task ensures accountability. Even when another team member is responsible for some of the work on the task, the owner has a vested interest in seeing that the work is done or escalating the issue if the work is not done. There is no one else to whom the buck may be passed.

Yes, some effort put in by other team members may not be accounted for and may fall through the cracks. That’s fine. Our primary concern as a team is timely delivery of product, not exact time-keeping.


Only Team Members Own Tasks

We often see project plans that include task owners who are not on the team that owns the project. I wonder whether these people know (and even when they know do they really care?) that they have been made responsible for completing work on another team’s plan? The answer in almost all cases, I’d argue, is no. These people have their own teams and their own plans. They have enough to do before worrying about the responsibilities that other teams are trying to throw on them.

It all comes back to accountability. People who are not team members are not accountable to the team. Naturally, they will complete work for their own team first, often unintentionally leaving tasks on other teams’ plans to languish. Tasks slip by undone. External dependencies stack up. Bad things happen.

The key to dealing with work that needs to be completed by non-team members is to assign responsibility for the work to the team member who most depends upon it. So, instead of assigning a task to someone who is not on the team and does not see the plan, you assign a task to someone who is not only accountable to the team but also has a vested interest in seeing that the work is done. It is then the team member’s responsibility to coordinate with external resources, keep them appraised of the team’s needs and timelines, and either confirm that the work is completed by the external resources or escalate through team management when it is not.

Typically, the estimate for this sort of “tracking” task is relatively small. We only care about the effort expended by our own team members, not individuals on other teams. Those other teams should have their own mechanisms for tracking what they work on and they almost certainly don’t care whether we are actually accounting for their effort–as long as we are coordinating with them and getting their buy-in to complete the work we need them to do for us.

How to keep your mind sharp?

We all want to keep our minds sharp and fresh. By working to keep your mind sharp, you can improve your attitude. Nothing angers a person more than not being able to remember important things or events. By having a sharp mind you can figure situations out more effectively and make wiser decisions. There are numerous ways to keep your mind sharp while keeping a good, well-rounded attitude.

1 Heed this next statement: No matter how sharp a mind you may have, no one can remember everything. Therefore, don't beat yourself up trying. Learning to write things down helps.

2 Find and use a special talent. Everyone has some type of special talent. Be open to trying different things. You could find a hidden talent that you are not aware of. Do you learn from sound and voice pitch or from pictures?

3 Maintain a regular exercise program. It will help to relieve tension. Relieving tension alone can improve your thought patterns. The less tension that you have the sharper your mind will become. You will begin to develop a better attitude as time goes on. You should find a program that works for you.

4 Write through self-expression. Writing poetry can be relaxing plus it is a great way to express yourself. Not everyone writes poetry so find your own mode of self expression. Try sewing, playing a musical instrument, or gardening. Get a Diary and express your thoughts.

5 Don't let learning stop just because you're out of school. You are never too old to learn. Go to your local library to gain more knowledge. It is a great place to relax, gather thoughts, and focus on studying. If you have any spare time, carry a book over to the park or stop in at a family restaurant. It all aids in building a sharper better mind, and improves your attitude.

6 Treat yourself as well as you treat others. It will improve the way you think. You will be a happier individual with a sharper mind and better attitude. Try buying yourself a small gift while out shopping for others. It is always good to give, and being generous is nice, but charity should begin at home. Remember, too, that generosity involves more than just material things and satisfaction is not achieved by consumption.

7 Figure out for yourself the true meaning of what is important in life. In doing so you will build a sharper mind and a better attitude. For where others may have failed and so never know the true meaning, you may succeed. Search deep inside for your inner self.

8 Try to find some common sense in life. You are truly blessed if you have common sense. There is nothing like good old common sense, for without it how can you possibly achieve having a sharp mind?

9 Use your mind more instead of using a calculator or adding machine. This is to say, especially, on simple things that you can easily total up in your head or on a piece of paper. Many people haven't done long division since grade school; give it a try sometime.

10 Stay focused on making your own decisions. Don't let other people try to make decisions for you. Be firm about speaking for yourself. And don't be afraid of expressing your opinion. Everyone has an opinion and the right to have one. Who knows, your opinion may catch on.

11 Do things that you enjoy. Jog or run or ski or play ball, fish, write, garden, or whatever makes you happy. It will help you to keep your mind fresh and clear and keep your attitude at it's best.

12 Learn some basic memory techniques. To start off with, you could find some books written by Tony Buzan (Mind Maps) or Dominic O'Brien: both of them are top people in the memory world.

13 Learn from everything you do. When mowing figure out the most efficient route, When reading try to read faster, every detail make look a little better, try to write neat, try to never use spell check, and so on. Because if you are constantly learning you will succeed in life, and you will surpass your fellow workers.

14 Learn to improve your mental ability in domains such as logic, problems solving, mental orientation and corrective thought process. It allows one to improve upon rationality and with rationality comes right attitude towards situation....

We vs Me

-Louise & George Altman

“The power of an organization is the capacity generated by relationships. Positive or negative organizational energy is determined by the quality of relationships. Those who relate through coercion, or in disregard of others, create negative energy. Those who are open to others and who see others in their fullness create positive energy.”    Margaret Wheatley

Do you work in a WE or a ME centered workplace?

For most of you the answer will be a ME workplace.

What’s the difference – and why does it matter?

ME or I centered workplaces are still the norm. They are characterized by cultures that are high on fear and low on trust.  People don’t feel or believe they can speak honestly and contribute ideas and opinions freely.  Organizations preach teams but many team members operate as lone wolves.

In ME based workplaces, employees feel they have to protect turf, leaders are perceived as ineffectual or autocratic and self-protection is the dominant feeling.  Anxiety, frustration and resentment are the common emotions found in ME centered workplaces.

WE focused workplaces bring out the best in their employees – at every level.  WE centric leaders are characterized by caring, courage and vision and to use the old expression, walk the talk.  Environments that foster WE centered behaviors encourage diversity of thought and expression of feeling. They encourage risk-taking and tolerate “failure.”  WE cultures support sharing and discourage territoriality. They are dedicated to fairness and the achievement of the full potential within everyone.  Confidence, passion and satisfaction are the common emotions found in a WE centered workplace.

HOW DID WE GET HERE?

Despite decades of discussions and program implementation of leadership and team building, the consensus is that most workplaces are still not healthy, vibrant relationship building systems. In fact, many are downright toxic.

There are many reasons for this.  The “legacy” of top – down, command and control thinking and management still prevails in most organizations.  Fear is the dominant emotional driver in too many workplaces.  Most organizations still don’t understand and factor in the human equation in terms of policies and practices.  Communication and emotional intelligence are still relegated to the territory of “soft skills” and are often not considered as essential job requirements. In fact, too many business pundits still question their validity in the business environment!

Most organizations are either clueless about the impact of power dynamics or just don’t care.  Unhealthy competition, gossip and positional power struggles are often the result.

Lack of organizational trust and transparency is growing. Even employees, who like their jobs or their managers, often report they don’t trust their company or its leaders.

Economic and societal pressures always exacerbate individual, group and organizational systems and often reveal the weaknesses that are concealed during “rosier” times.

FROM US TO THEM

It’s easy to find a list of the cultural forces and organizational factors that contribute to Me based workplaces.  Many people feel trapped within organizations and teams that are completely out of step with their values.  They want more collaboration, trust and partnership in their workplace relationships and aren’t interested in engaging in power plays.

But regardless of the influence of structural norms and hierarchical influences within a workplace, every person has a critically important role to play in creating more WE focused work environments.

What WE bring to the table matters.  Cultures are important but they are merely the aggregate of mindsets.  Creating more WE based cultures, depends on each and every one of us getting far better at two critical competencies of emotional intelligence – self awareness and self-reflection.  While blame is common in ME centered workplaces, self-responsibility and self- management are the cornerstones of WE based cultures. 

This is not to say the actions of the organization or institution in which WE operate are not important, but ultimately WE have a choice in how to respond.  WE focused cultures cannot flourish unless there is accountability at all levels of responsibility.

SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE – THE NEW SCIENCE OF WE

“Perhaps the most stunning recent discovery in behavioral neuroscience is the identification of mirror neurons in widely dispersed areas of the brain. Italian neuro-scientists found them by accident while monitoring a particular cell in a monkey’s brain that fired only when the monkey raised its arm. One day a lab assistant lifted an ice cream cone to his own mouth and triggered a reaction in the monkey’s cell. It was the first evidence that the brain is peppered with neurons that mimic, or mirror, what another being does. This previously unknown class of brain cells operates as neural Wi-Fi, allowing us to navigate our social world. When we consciously or unconsciously detect someone else’s emotions through their actions, our mirror neurons reproduce those emotions. Collectively, these neurons create an instant sense of shared experience.” Social Neuroscience & the Biology of Leadership

See, what you do matters. What they do matters. There is nothing “woo-woo” about emotional contagion. It’s real. Emotions, whatever they are, spread. Leaders who lead with fear (whether they are consciously aware of it or not) spread fear. Leaders who lead with empathy – spread empathy.  Empathy is the ultimate contributor to building WE based cultures.

The latest neuroscience has powerful implications for the ways in which we organize our workplaces, our schools, our families and our societies.  Our brains work on an organizing principle with two primary tasks – minimize threat and maximize reward.

The need for status (recognition), certainty (safety), autonomy (self-mastery), relatedness (affiliation, love) and fairness are either satisfied or frustrated by WE or ME cultures.

The latest scientific findings clearly show that social needs are as important to WE humans as the need for food and water!  Our brains are wired to work within the social context of community. 

BUILDING THE WE IN ME
Developing the WE factor inside of us takes work. It’s easy (for most of us) to jump into the ME vs. YOU pool. Our entire culture is organized to support that. WE isn’t popular. Oh yes, we teach our kiddies to share their toys and not whack little Jacob with a baseball bat, but as a culture we are still modeling aggression, attack and ruthless competition as our primary values.

So building our WE behaviors can take vigilance and practice. Here are some of the basics:

=> New Belief Systems - we live by our beliefs (some are conscious and most are not) We have dozens that govern the way we relate to our own feelings, those of others, behave in relationships (inside the workplace and outside of it) and treat other people. Unless we make a determined effort to unearth our deepest beliefs, we cannot change our behaviors.
=> Value Your Values – Everyone has values. WE refer to them, but often we don’t really know them or live by them. Unless you honor your own values, you can’t possibly understand or respect those of others. WE centric cultures use values as a guiding force. 

=>  Know Your Needs – Most people can’t really name their needs. We’re not talking about food or water here – but needs that relate to our social interdependence with others.  Identifying your needs is central to understanding your values and beliefs. They are the drivers.
=> Evaluate your Communication Strengths – and Weaknesses.  If you are too aggressive, commit to learning how to express yourself in a more assertive style. There is a huge difference in the eye and ear of the beholder.
=> Get your Assumptions, Judgments and Expectations of others under control. They’ll reflect your beliefs and values – so make the connections. This is important because we tend to judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behaviors.

Whether we live and work in ME or WE cultures depends a great deal on US.  Each time we interact with someone in the workplace (and outside of it) we make a deposit or withdrawal into the Bank of WE or ME.  The problem in most workplaces is that the bank is overdrawn. All of the big and little daily interactions have drained the coffers.  So how each of us acts now, will decide the cultures of the future.